I am Sloth

Aiming to be different.

2011-07-01T17:18:00.000-07:00

Everyone wants to be different, unique, remembered, in that sense we are all the same, which is quite ironic. "maybe she's scared her life won't leave any traces, caught up like everyone else" - Frank Turner - 'Reasons not to be an Idiot'. Truth is, most things have already been done, most thoughts already thought, most inventions invented.
It's quite sad really, we all want to go down in history, desperately clinging to TV shows like X Factor and Dragon's Den, as if they make us any more important than anyone else.
What's the point in having your name remembered for an invention or a quote, when no one will remember WHO you really were, your querks, the things that made you happiest.
We cling to our little habbits and querks, they make up who we are and make us feel unique.....until we go on Facebook and see someone made a group for each one of our unique querks, and hundreds of other people seem to share them.
Realistically, with all the people in the world clinging to be somebody, whatever that means, it's pretty hard to be unique, yet we will always thrive to be.

It's the end of the world as we know it, and I feel fine.

2011-05-20T11:09:00.001-07:00

So apparently the world ends tomorrow, though I don't think I can get away with using it as an excuse to not do any work...

Currently I'm surrounded by revision all over the place, it looks impressive but really I can't remember writing any of it. Not looking forward to these A2 exams, but hey, who is? I can't be arsed getting stressed about them...even if they pretty much determine my future (whether I'll get into uni to study nursing and move out with David relies on me getting BCC).

I'm skint atm and I HATE it, so when exams are over I might just work my arse off and get loads of money to put towards my flat with David.

You get those phases in your life where you can't stand to look at yourself, well women do I'm sure, and I'm going through one. I need a nice haircut, to lose some weight and to tone up slightly. Could also do with some fucking bras that fit me. (Going up a bra size is both good for your esteem and irritating as hell). I think I need to work my ass off in Summer tbh, 'cause I need to treat myself to new clothes and a new underwear drawer before I go insane.

Dying tomorrow would be the biggest dissapointment in the world, I'm just about to start my life!!! So I won't be impressed if it is the end of the world, but I also won't care because I'll be dead. People are idiots. End of the world my arse.

Oh and I saw Panic! at the Disco on Monday...it was awesome.

"Dance as if you're hours away from death" - Frank Turner....get it??

University

2010-10-12T09:29:00.001-07:00

Soooooooooooo got 4/5 unis lined up, Leeds and Nottingham being the most prioritised. Gonna live with David, he's gonna get a full time job and then do guitar tutoring in the evenings =]

I'MMA LIVE AWAY FROM HOME YAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY :)

Responsibilities and stuff FTW.

Actually can't wait. I have a future to look forward to! YEAHHHHH!! :)

Guess I better get started on that personal statement then....sighhh.

I so wish my tutor (also my very shit biology A2 teacher) wasn't the one writing my reference... :(

I just want this year to skip by, and I want to come out of it with jillions of awesome memories and the best grades I can get. ('A's please!!)

Then I'll live on my own D: ...well, with David. IN LEEDS!!! Or somewhere...

If I didn't get into uni and had to take a gap year....it'd be the worst thing ever.

Pi and birthday.

2010-09-06T09:17:00.001-07:00

I've decided to bake more often :) I started today by baking apple pie ...nom nom nom!! I'll upload a picture at some point.

I'm 18 tomorrow.....SHIT YEAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

nom nom apple 3.14159265

Who am I?

2010-09-05T13:35:00.000-07:00

Why do I feel like I need more money to buy the things I want to use to define myself? Because after all I could always try talking about the things I love to people instead of just listening to what they love.

'Cause really, I know a lot about my girls and what sorta stuff they like and love...but they don't know that much about the stuff I love...I don't need to buy stuff to show them that.

So here's some stuff I love as it comes off the top of my head with a bit of info about me included:

I love my LPs and my record player, I love old music...like war-time old, I love my home-made Domo Kun lamp, I love my sock monster, and making them, I love my Dr Who figurines and Harry Potter books, I love my shakespeare bookcase and reading the beautiful quotes on it, I love my 40s pin-up calender, I love all my posters and pictures of new york, I love my periodic table mug, I love the VlogBrothers and other youtube vloggers, I'd love to vlog but am scared people won't like me, I love my necklaces but feel I need more, I'd love to carry off the "vintage look" but don't even know where to start, I love it when you listen to a song and get that wave of emotion about the lyrics or a love of the artist...I love seeing my tickets above my curtain rail and wish I had lots more, I'd love to have those milatary style boots but don't have anything to wear it with, here's a biggen: I feel like I know nothing about clothes and how to put outfits together and it makes me feel like a failure as a woman...

I'd love to have just loads of gorgeous underwear to make me feel a bit sexier, I'd love to have legs like Nicole Kidman and I'd also love to stop whining about it and actually just lose the weight, I'd love to read more books, I like learning about the world wars, there's this metal household sign in a shop in Stockport that says "Happiness is a good cup of tea" which I really want to buy, I've already planned my future kitchen and bathroom and have been tempted several times to buy stuff ready for it...like that sign...and a cute garland in Stoke-on-trent consisting of little home made kitchen utensils on a piece of rope, I love baking - I really really do - tomorrow I'm making pie, when I'm with my friends I don't talk about stuff I like unless I know they'll like it too...

I started a new paragraph because I feared it was getting too long to read, I often get jealous of certain people for certain things but I don't let on because I think it sounds as if your angry at the person for having something you want and could make them feel bad, I'm trying not to use commas in things in this list as to not confuse the list but I really hate grammatical errors...I think I'mma stop for now.

Oh, but one more thing to add, I've recently developed a huge fear of death and sometimes cry at night because I've convinced myself I'm going to die in my sleep, it sounds stupid, but it's a genuine thing that scares the crap out of me.

There's only really one person that I hope will read this and I hope she doesn't skim read it because some of it means quite a bit to me and..well...yeah

DAMN YOU GIRL.

2010-09-05T13:32:00.000-07:00

Why can't you be thinner??!?!?!

Hang on...let's rephrase that....

Why can't you GET thinner???? It's not fricking hard, retard, just stop eating all that shit. Maybe then, you can feel that sexiness you've been lacking, and have a bit more fucking confidence in your body, you fat hoe. Maybe then when someone calls you fat as a joke you won't break down and feel like turning anorexic.

DUH.

The world is so beautiful.

2010-06-17T07:52:00.000-07:00

I wonder how people can think that we just exist, it just happened, it was a matter of perfect coinsidence. Look at us, look at everything. Everything is so perfectly detailed so that it works, so we can live, breath, eat...

We have emotions, we feel love and pain and hate.

Explain it to me someone please, how you think it just happened, how you can just so easily think that this is all there is.

Yes we evolve and change and adapt, that's science, it's fact, but whatever we evolved from...where did it come from?

The human body is so complicated, our eyes are incredible, we can see, smell, feel...so perfectly designed just like all the other living things on this world...so how can it just happen?

You can critisize religion as much as you want, when you know so little about it, you can judge from what you've heard and what you think when you don't even have a clue, and if that's what gets you by then enjoy it, enjoy never knowing and always judging.

So many rumours and lies about Christians and the bible and so many people believing them rather than actually finding out for themselves, and not just off google or wikipedia.

But if you're happy sat there thinking that we just happened, that this beautiful planet doesn't really have any meaning or purpose, and all these theories and religions that you know little about are just stupid, then you enjoy that, while the rest of the world tries to figure out and teach the reason to our lives and the reason we are so perfectly designed.

"If you don't believe in God, how can you believe in love? If we're all just matter, that will one day scatter, when peaceful the world lays us down" - Noah and the Whale

At the end of the day we don't need emotions and a conscience to exist and to function.

2010-06-08T09:54:00.001-07:00

Oh and I love long bus journeys on my own :)

Some proper likes and dislikes.

2010-05-30T13:30:00.000-07:00

Things I hate:
Unplanned events. I have to have time to mull things over, otherwise I feel awkward and uncomfortable...not sure why, but I do.

People bringing up shit from the past inc. things about how you used to act like/look like.

Failing.

The thought of someone pulling a face when they have a dump.

People being dick 'eds about believing in God.

Oh and street preachers.

Things I love:
Those unexpected messages/texts from your friends reminding you that they love you.

Knowing your best friend(s) is really happy/having a good time.

Things that make me laugh uncontrollably.

That feeling of achievment.

Objects/things that I collect/like:
Necklaces
Manga
Incense
LPs
Frank Sinatra
Geishas
Posters....even though I have no wall space left.
Dr Who figurines...so far I have an ood.
Mugs....I collect mugs from places I've been - don't judge me :)
Guitar
Hello Kitty
Sloths

2010-05-09T05:25:00.000-07:00

Then said Jesus "Father forgive them; for they know not what they do"
Luke 23:34

Let your beauty not be external by the braiding of hair and wearing of gold jewellery - but the inner person of the heart, the lasting beauty of a gentle and tranquil spirit, which is precious in God's sight.
1 Peter 3:3-4

Work hard and become a leader; be lazy and never succeed.
Proverbs 12:24

If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing.
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.
...
And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.
1 Corinthians 13

It's hard to look deep, into your soul, not everything you find will be perfect gold...
Oh and if you don't believe in God, how can you believe in love, when we're all just matter that will one day scatter, when peaceful, the world lays us down.
Noah and the Whale - peaceful, the world lays me down

2010-05-09T05:17:00.000-07:00

The best kind of happiness is the happiness for someone else :)

When someone you love is happy...well it's just the best feeling in the world :)

Work Avoidingness

2010-05-03T09:26:00.000-07:00

Noah and the Whale - Peaceful the World lays me down

tune.

Anyway, I have lots of college work to do for tomorrow, and I'm avoiding it. Hense this. Hmm...best do it I guess...weird how a teacher can make you do something...even though it's all about "our choices".

Heartbreak

2010-02-16T11:31:00.000-08:00

Love is hard - James Morrison

It kicks so hard it breaks your bones
Cuts so deep it hits your soul
Tears your skins and makes your blood flow
It's better that you know
That love is hard.

That's the best way I can think of to describe how it feels to have your heart crushed. It's like your dying but never die.

I was used to it tbh, as used to it as you can be. It's horrible. It's scary people can have that much power over you. But I'd come to expect it anyway.

It was like...I'd love someone...and I'd think I knew them....then they'd do something so unnexpected and horrible and it hurt so much. I didn't understand.

That's why it was hard for me at first with David...it got to about a month in and it was if I was waiting...just waiting for him to turn into a twat...for him to do something to crush me...and now it's been 4 and a half months, the same length as my longest relationship to date...and nothing. In fact, he's just got better.

I love him so much. So much that it brings me to tears when I think about it a lot...I cried a few times on Valentine's day...nearly cried more times than that.

I'm not expecting him to do something horrible now, I'm hoping that nothing ever happens that will drive us away. Because as time goes on I love him more and more and I don't want anyone else.

When I think of my future, he's in it, when I think of my dream life, he's in it. It's not an obsession. It's love. The thing is, I can't imagine me being happy without him. Sometime's I have these horrible daydreams that something's happened to him, and it gives me the worst feeling...

It's easy to use words like forever and always. But they are big words. That's why you've got to hold on to them, and know what you're saying and feel it every time you say them.

I love David Cooper. I want to be with him forever. It's that simple.

2010-02-11T14:43:00.000-08:00

There's nothing like time spent away from someone to make you realise how much you really love them.

:)

It's something about the heart-wrenching feeling of missing them that reminds you how much they mean to you.

Close.

2010-02-10T13:52:00.000-08:00

Being close to people means you have more people to please, it means you have expectations to live up to, and it means there are more people who can hurt you. But it means at the end of the day when you have nowhere to go they'll let you in. When you really need to escape they'll go with you. And it also means, whether you realise it or not, they'll worry about you everyday that you're down, and cry when they know you're crying.

It's a kind of love. It's strong. It feels good and hurts like mad. Cherish it and whateveryou do never let it go.

2010-02-10T13:51:00.000-08:00

Some people are so naive. Just because they're happy doesn't mean they don't have to worry about anyone else....step out of your fairytale and open your eyes. Don't pretend you can't see it.

2010-02-10T13:40:00.000-08:00

...I don't know what to say.

Life is dull. Let's DO something!

2010-02-07T13:44:00.000-08:00

Man life can be dull. Teenagers. At the height of our lives and spend it doing fuck all. We're supposed to be going out drinking around town having a sick time and crashing at each others houses at the weekend. I would actually love to get pissed with my mates and get the bus to Manchester or something and then going home late dragging Ridler or whoever to sleep at mine and waking up rough as fuck the next day.
But maybe my mates don't want to do that? Idk. I'm not a pisshead. I just wanna have fun whilst I can. I wanna make the most of it because seriously, life's dull. And I don't want to look back and regret doing fuck all. It's college, we're supposed to get pissed. I wanna have a fucking good time without having to wait until someone's parents go out.
For God's sake, I WANT TO BE A FUCKING TEENAGER. Is that a lot to ask? For some good times? Memories? 'cause right now I'm not making any.

skins.

2010-02-07T13:43:00.000-08:00

skins series 4 episode 2 is pretty damn amazing tbh.

Updatalingssss

2010-02-04T09:11:00.000-08:00

I frickin' hate migrains. Had to come home from college after first lesson. I'm making a doctors appointment. I need a note from them saying that I get migrains often so I don't lose out on EMA, seen as I'm only allowed 3 illnesses in a year and I'm on my second.

Butttttttt on the other hand I've been paid and got my tax back and got my EMA bonus so I now have £200 in the bank. Taking £50 out to put in my savings like but I can spend some of that tonight at COW student night with Ridler. 15% off and free alcohol...yes mate. Wait...aww shit they better not ask for ID :(

Moneyyyyyyyyyy <3

McGood

2010-02-04T08:05:00.000-08:00

ok...so after my shift I changed my mind, despite the fact I spilt a mop bucket everywhere and make the dining area look like a river :)

badabababaaaa I'm lovin' it.

McShit

2010-02-03T06:00:00.000-08:00

ughhh cba tbh, Working 4.30-10.00 tonight....really can't decide if I like it..but it's a wednesday...so shouldn't be too busy...but if it's not....then I'll be on booth one D:. I want to do dining area goddamn it!!! Vicky isn't on tonight. Or Alistair. Or Brad. Charlotte's on but I've not spoken to her that much before. And Wajh is on ...ugh....can't decide if I like her yet.

If a lobby place does come up at mersey way I'm going to ask to be moved there. It's easier to get to, better work, better pay, and my best friend's there. Let me know Ridler!!!!!!

March

2010-02-01T04:43:00.000-08:00

When March comes and I get my results I can decide what to do. Until then...I'll have to try and enjoy AS levels.

At the end of the day...

2010-01-28T08:46:00.000-08:00

Right. I've been thinking. GCSEs ... A Levels ... working hard for good grades ... what for? So we have a slightly bigger range of courses to do at uni? Exams/coursework seem like so much effort with no real reward ... when at the end of the day ... I just wanna get pissed with my mates.

Bus madness.

2010-01-27T06:05:00.000-08:00

So ok..just me on the way home...decide to get the 42 to stockport. At the bus stop by 12:20, Get the bus at 12:31. It was 5 minutes late but oh well.

After a few minutes he started revving the engine like mad...when we weren't moving. So I was like...weird?....but then he stopped doing it.

Anyway, a few minutes later, he stops and turns the engine off.

"No one's going as far as East Didsbury are they"
"erm....?"
"No? Good"

Then he rang 'Tony'.

"Tony, Tony are you there? That orange light's come on. The one with the border round it. I've had to stop. And there's a petrol light with a question mark.......etc"

A 42A drives past my window, damn it. He gets going again. 5 minutes later he stops.

"Tony it's done it again it's not good. I've had to stop again. What should I do? No just the orange one this time"

He gets going again. 5 minutes later smoke starts coming out of the back of the bus. He stops a passing 23 and gets us all to go on that. I bang my head on the cieling at the back. I spend the rest of the journey to stockport with some snobby woman giving me evils. A white van drives past; a pedo smiles at me and waves.

It starts to rain outside. Great.

I run to stand S. Just as I reach the 203 it drives off, followed by the 7. So I wait. A 374 comes along.

"Do you go to houldsworth sq.?"

It does. I get on. I eventually get to Reddish via tesco and every other fecking shop in Stockport.

Buses. My God.

When I grow up I want to be....

2010-01-25T04:28:00.000-08:00

someone. I want to achieve something. I want to learn things that so many people cba to learn. I want to learn more about our history, who we are, I want to learn more about what's happening now and why, I want to learn about the war and make a difference. But that's not all. I want to learn about people's views on things, peoples religions. I want to learn about traditions. I want to learn French because it's beautiful, and German because it's interesting. I want to get better at guitar, so I can learn to write music. I want to learn more about other countries and go to them, and help the 3rd world countries. I want to do more to help charity. I want to learn about politics...not just in our country. I want to learn the piano, so I can express myself. I want to finish learning to drive, so I can take my friends away when they need to escape. I want to finish my book and get it published and do well in it...because I think I can. I want to learn to cook, and cook well; because I want to be able to make more than beans on toast.

As for a career....well..I'm not sure yet. Medicine is out of the picture, nursing's still clinging to the edge of the frame. I'll just try hard at mcdonalds, get some stars on my badge, maybe be a staff trainer. Earn more, do more.

This is in response to my Ridler's post. This is who I want to be. If I can't reach my full potential in college with my shit A-levels, then I should make myself stand out in different ways.

Conforming.

2010-01-25T04:21:00.000-08:00

Some people don't have a personality. Well...they do...they just don't know what it is. They're too busy trying to "fit in" with their mates that they never realise who they are. It's like they're lost, but they don't want to be found. In fact they want to get more and more lost, until they're simply clones of each other. Peer pressure? Or idiocy? I like to call them chavs, tag-a-longs...people that are so stupid it's hard to feel sorry for them..but they're jealous. They're jealous we know who we are and that we're confident about who we are...and don't give a shit what they think. One day they'll wake up and realise they could have been so much more. Let's hope it doesn't take them too long.

Because after all, it must be a pretty sad life to live.

Lyrics

2010-01-13T03:30:00.000-08:00

Sometimes lyrics can make so much sense
More sense than just words
They explain everything you're feeling
In one simple verse.

They can bring you to tears
Make you realise your fears
They can become your motto, your theme
Words that are more than they seem.

That's why they're so hard to write
When you just can't explain
How you feel and why you hurt
And why you're crying all over again.

So forgive me if I cannot write
Cannot write something beautiful
Something to bring you to tears
Or say anything meaningful.

I'll let you know when I find
The right verb or noun
That describes me so perfectly
And explains why I'm down.

Sometimes lyrics can make so much sense
More sense than just words
They explain everything you're feeling
In one simple verse.

The Feeling - Never Be Lonely

2010-01-11T13:28:00.000-08:00

Ok, so in someone's opinion I'm doing something wrong. I don't know what this thing is because this someone doesn't want to upset me. I don't know if this thing could jeppordize my friendship with that someone or my relationship with someone else. OR this someone might have the complete wrong end of the stick which is maybe making that someone think less of me...which I don't want.

Well...I want to know what this thing(s) is for several reasons:

Not knowing what it is and knowing my best friend's pissed off with me for w/e it is is killing me..as I don't want them to be annoyed at me and want to fix it.
I don't want to destroy any frindships/relationships.
If it's something like the things we've discussed about other people we know then I want to know so I can work on it.
If this person HAS got the wrong end of the stick I want her to know.

Generally I don't want my best friend so off with me..and I want to have a good time with her Saturday night.

So I paused my biology revision to make this blog because I can't think about cells when I have this going around in my head.

So yeah..please tell me...because sadly your metaphorical blogs only let me know that you think I'm doing something wrong and not what it is...and I don't wanna hurt you.

People in love get fast and foolish

People in love get everything wrong

People in love get scared and stupid

People in love get everything wrong

..then help?

xxxx

2009 Music

2010-01-03T14:53:00.000-08:00

Favorite Song: hmmmm youmeatsix - always attract and panic! at the disco - she had the world
Favorite Album: Panic! at the disco- pretty odd
Favorite gig: Green Day
Favorite Album bought: I haven't technically "bought" that many...
Favorite surprising event in Music: Rage Against The Machine's Christmas Number One
Song heard the most: asher roth-i love college
Oddest album bought: jeffree star....
Favorite band this year: Panic! at the disco
New bands listened to: Arctic Monkeys, Asher Roth, youmeatsix, rage against the machine, rise against, we the kings, get cape. wear cape. fly, air traffic, secondhand serenade

2010

2010-01-02T14:05:00.000-08:00

I WILL achieve something this year that I can forever say I'm proud of.

I WILL work harder to achieve what I'm capable of.

I WILL get a better job.

I WILL lose a few pounds.

I WILL decide on a definate career.

I WILL finish my book.

I WILL pass my driving test.

I WILL enjoy myself.

I WILL do well in my AS levels.

I WON'T make any of the stupid mistakes I did in 2009.

This WILL be a better year.

...and if I can't do that in a year...then I need to sort myself out.

Avatar

2009-12-23T16:15:00.001-08:00

Just an amazingly epic film tbh...

IT'S CHRIIIIIISTMAAAAAS!!!

2009-12-23T16:01:00.000-08:00

The next 3 days will be magical :)
Christmas Eve
Christmas Day
Boxing Day

The excitement of opening your presents and watching people open what you got them, or getting thankyous for the presents you got for people is just the best feeling ever. It's not the same as birthdays, because everyone gets a present off everyone and it's great when you know they like it :) (not so great when they don't lol)

But generally, there's something special about this time of year; because everyone's just happy. It's the only time of year when everyone's just in a great mood - even cracker jokes are funny on Christmas day; and that's saying something.

I guess I like it because it's just such a loving time.

Merry Christmas!

Been a While.

2009-12-23T10:48:00.000-08:00

I think it's safe to say I haven't blogged in a very long time, but I don't go on tinternet that much atm tbf.

Went to Liverpool for the past two days to Liverpool Medical Institution and now know practically everything about what you do in medical school, what areas you can go into after medical school, how to get into medical school etc...just I'm doubting I can get the grades which is really gutting because I really want to go. I didn't really want to be a doctor anymore when I went, but then they really persuaded me to go and now it's all I want to do. But AAB are pretty hard A levels to achieve so :/. Idk, I'll see how it goes, just got a hell of a lot of revision to do this Christmas Holidays....yay. :

Came back from liverpool at tea time yesterday, and then my brother treated us to the cinema to go and watch Avatar in 3D. WOW. It is such a good film it really is; I loved it!!!!!!!!!! Got back home though and couldn't find my phone D: Ended up having to go back to Parrs Wood and bang on the door because it was shutting and ask someone to help us find it, thankfully they found it :)

Today I played santa and delivered all my Christmas Presents to everyone :) Now I'm going to give my room a seriously good and overdue tidy!

Oh, here's mine and David's epic snowman:

My Ridler

2009-11-24T12:33:00.000-08:00

I love my Ridler <3 She be my best friend :) We've had some amazing times over the years; times I'll never forget :) We've had rare not-so-good times, but everything else has made up for them :) I hope she cheers up a bit when she reads this, I know I'm not there as much as I'd like to be for her, but I do love her muchly :) I know things can be a bit hard for her at the moment with college and everything, and with one of her friends dropping out of college I hope she's alright about it....*virtual hug for My Riddles*

Friday night will be a good'n :) just like old times. Buying cheesecake from Tesco and perving on beautiful people :) Sleeping either nakedly spooning emma *winks* or most likely on the floor with my head next to the guineepig cage....either way...good times.

You've been there a lot for me over the years Fiddles, and I hope you think I've been there for you too :) You've let me know when I've been a twat, and you help me sort shit out :) Love you to the moon and back Ridler <3

because craft queens look out for each other.

:)

Nat King Cole - Unforgettable..because sometimes old music is just cool.

2009-11-24T12:31:00.000-08:00

Unforgettable, that's what you are
Unforgettable though near or far
Like a song of love that clings to me
How the thought of you does things to me

Never before has someone been more
Unforgettable in every way
And forever more, that's how you'll stay
That's why, darling, it's incredible
That someone so unforgettable
Thinks that I am unforgettable too

Unforgettable in every way
And forever more, that's how you'll stay
That's why, darling, it's incredible
That someone so unforgettable
Thinks that I am unforgettable too

Sunday nights.

2009-11-22T15:09:00.000-08:00

Sunday nights are annoying. The past two nights you've thought 'aaah fuck it no college tomorrow, I'mma stay up late', then as soon as you try to get to sleep at 11 on a Sunday night because you've got to be up at half 6...you fail.

Mothers know best.

2009-11-21T09:04:00.000-08:00

My mum says I doubt myself way too much, and stress myself out too much, which is probably why I get so many migrains....

I guess I'm just realistic. I know my own ability. I know myself too much, and tbh Idk if I like it.

Meh, tevs.

Here's to those days....

2009-11-21T06:58:00.001-08:00

Here's to those days where you can't bare to look at yourself.

Here's to those days where you start to hate who you are.

Here's to those days where you're ashamed of yourself.

Here's to those days where you feel sorry for yourself.

Here's to those days where you watch the clock.

Here's to those days when you wonder how people love you.

Here's to those days of wondering if they do.

Here's to those days of reminiscing the good times, and missing them like mad.

Here's to those days of worrying about the future.

Here's to those days of using the emote with the slanted face :/

Here's to those wasted days of doing shit all.

Here's to those days when you can't will yourself to move.

Here's to those days where you just give up.

If it wasn't for these days, then it would be impossible to ever have a happily ever after.

After all, isn't that just what everybody wants? For things to just work out and get better?

Hmm. We'll see.

:/

I wish for more times like these.

2009-11-21T06:31:00.000-08:00

Because the people you love the most are the people you cry over missing so much <3

2009-11-21T06:20:00.000-08:00

Today I'm a hopeless disaster, tomorrow I just get useless faster.

Time.

2009-11-21T06:00:00.000-08:00

I wish I had enough time to do EVERYTHING I want/plan to do. I want to write a book, I want to tidy my room, I want to do all the revision I tell myself I'm going to do "when I get home", I want to play guitar as much as I say I will, I want to see my friends and go out as much as I say I will, I want to update my blog as much as I say I will, I want to work as hard as I say I will. I want to learn to cook. I want to learn French. I want to get better at guitar. I want to write songs. I want to be in a band (ppfffft. yh. right. likely). I want to sort out all this work experience. I want to go to all these medical conferences. I want to WAKE UP and REALISE that I'm never going to be a doctor, nor do I particularly want to be one. I'm never going to be in a band. I'm never going to be good at guitar. I'm never going to be a good cook. I'm never going to be able to speak fluent French. I'm never going to finish this book. I'm never going to get it published. I'm never going to be doing book signings. I'm never going to do enough revision to get three A grade A levels. I'm never going to go out with my friends as much as I'd like to. I'm never going to feel like I've achieved as much as I possible could have done.

The to do list on my hand just gets bigger and bigger. ATM it reads:
"put music on phone"
"take photos off phone and put on fb"
"book hairdressers"
"do maths homework"
"do media report"
"sort out volunteering"
"sign up to MAP"
"tidy both rooms". - Yes. Both mine and my brother's rooms need a serious sort out, my crap is all over the place.

So WHY am I sat here, thinking of all the things I need to do, writing about them, moaning about them, staring at my greasy hair wondering what time I should have a shower? I'm actually uselss. JUST FUCKING GET IT DONE SELLEN.

RAWR

2009-11-08T14:08:00.000-08:00

The Train Back to Keswick

2009-11-08T12:20:00.001-08:00

That's the title of my book.

Look out for it in Waterstone's in about..10 years..or never (:

Careers Part III

2009-11-08T12:15:00.000-08:00

So...we had our medical students round for dinner again today...they gave me high hopes for my future because they felt like I did now too when they were in their first year of college. Yay. I'mma going down the medical route again...still gonna write my book though.

Bullying.

2009-11-08T11:57:00.000-08:00

Me and Eastwood were discussing the other day...

"They're just jealous" is often a generic phrase a mother uses to cheer up their child when they're being bullied....and it never really works...but there is actually some logic behind it.

They may be bullying you because of how you look, how you dress etc...and no, they're not JEALOUS of how you look, they're JEALOUS of your self-confidence. They have no self-esteem, and so want to destroy yours.

Take a girl who used to bully me for instance. She came to our school because she was being bullied at her last school. She had no friends, ginger hair and a lazy eye. One of the chavs in my tutor befriended her; and she obviously decided that she wasn't going to be bullied again, and turned into the bully herself.

If they call you for being ginger, they're not jealous of your ginger hair. They could be jealous of anything; your confidence, your intelligence, your ability to make people laugh...anything they don't have and want.

Careers Part II

2009-11-03T15:26:00.000-08:00

You may remember an earlier blog titled, "Careers"...well this is following on from it. When I wrote that blog I was having doubts about whether or not I'd be good enough to study medicine as a degree...well I've come to the conclusion that I'm not.

1 in 7 suicides is by someone who's studying medicine...apparently; because of the stress. David "Trilby" Cooper told be that statistic so if I've just been gullable then gutted on me.

I have decided that I think I'll do well in media and biology....but I'm pretty much going to fail maths and chemistry...but I don't care; because I hate those subjects.

I wish I could re-choose my options. I could do like photography or psychology or English Language instead. Oh well.

So I'm not going to be a doctor....I don't think. I'd LOVE to be a writer...or a director...but I know I can't rely on them as a career choice.

This is my plan:

Do my AS levels.
Make careful decisions about my A levels.
Write a book during these 2 years of college and see how it goes.

After that...who knows. I'll cross that bridge when I come to it.

So.....

2009-11-03T15:23:00.000-08:00

Blogging. The things I want to blog about...I can never be arsed blogging about..because it would take time...which I don't really have....and there's nothing else interesting to blog about lol. So that's why I haven't done any proper blogs recently.

I will blog properly soon though....keep this thing updated :)

The American Dream

2009-11-01T11:47:00.000-08:00

Either America is too optimistic and full of false hope, or Britain is too blunt and realistic.

America says "Anyone can be somebody. Anyone can acheive their dream."

Britain says "Pfft. You're from where? You went to what school? Your parents earn what? You got what GCSE results? HA. Fuck off."

Tim Burton

2009-10-29T16:56:00.000-07:00

Anyone who says...

...that Tim Burton...

...is not cool...

IS LYING.

Southern Updates.

2009-10-26T16:24:00.000-07:00

So. I'm in that London.

Yesterday we arrived at my uncle Mark's house...they weren't here. They arrived about an hour later. We had tea. I was dragged into lots of games with Alex (7) and Francessca (5) including "lightsabers and swords" and dressing up and dancing....which involved Alex dressing in drag and Francessca forcing me into one of my auntie's old size 8 dresses.

Well....that's not all it involved D: for I was disturbed beyond compare. Along with all of my cousins' dressing up, my auntie's and uncle's Rocky Horror Picture Show costumes were there. Francessca gave me my uncle's leather thong THING to put on my head as a hat...Alex thought it was a bra...I explained it was neither and said we should put it away. I then shuddered to myself for a while and attempted to block the incident from memory.

Later on I read Francessca a Dora the Explorer story and tucked her in..which was cute....

Kids seem to love me...but they annoy me. It's all well and good playing a few games if you get a few cuddles along the way...but when you're forced to share their room and get waken up at 5.30 in the morning...and not being allowed to go back to sleep...you start to wish you were far far far FAR away from them.

5.30 - Francessca singing. Alex throws something at you. Francessca gets up...walks over to your bed...prods you in face...prods you in back...you pretend to be asleep...she goes to her bed.
6.00 - I text David and my dad asking them to kill me...as Francessca and Alex haven't yet SHUT THE HELL UP.
6.15 - Auntie Claire comes in and takes Francessca away for being noisey.
6.30 - You're just about getting back to sleep when Francessca comes back in..singing...saying your name in a creepy possessed way "ayyymeeeeee...ayymeeeee"
6.45 -
Francessca - "Amy...will you come dowsntairs and watch a film with me."
Me -"Not now it's too early...I'm too tired...I've got a headache...."
Francessca - "But I want you to watch film"
Me - "Not now. I'll be down later"
Alex - "It's ok Francessca I'll come watch it with you"
*Francessca starts making wimpery noises*
Me (in head) - "please don't cry. Please oh god don't cry."
Alex - "She's too tired come on Francessca"
Me (in head) - "Alex Sellen...I've never loved you more."

A bit later on she wanted me to pour her milk on her breakfast for her...no. Get your mum to do it. It's 7am.

So I didn't get much sleep.

I saw granddad a lot today though, found a new love for charity shops. Bought a book (GET ME!) Saw my cousin Rachel, found out she's pregnant again...had tea with my uncle Terry and co. Good times xD

But tbh...I think the only thing that's been keeping me sane...is constantly texting David...or talking ABOUT David...or thinking about seeing him tomorrow. Because I miss him soooo much. I know it's only been a couple of days...but I hate it. I love him. I want to be around him. I want to see him, talk to him, snuggle up to him and kiss him.

I love you David Jon Antony Cooper.

Baby I'm yours
And I'll be yours until 2 and 2 is 3
Until the molten crumbles to the sea
In other words until eternity

<3

David's Blog

2009-10-23T05:45:00.000-07:00

David just posted a blog which made me smile like a madman :) in it he described our relationship as perfect....I agree.

I've always found it hard to figure out whether or not I've loved someone before and I guess I was never with them long enough to figure that out properly...but when I think of how I love my friends and my family ...if I think about what I'd be like if they died I realise how much I do actually love David. I know it's a slightly morbid way of "measuring love" if you like, but it works. If David died I can't even imagine the state I'd be in.

He makes me happy because I know he loves me back. I feel like he does actually want to see me too and just be with me all the time...which I've never felt before. This isn't a one-sided relationship; we love each other, and we trust each other, and I can't imagine ever wanting to be with anyone else :)

I love you David Jon Antony Cooper <3

Food = Money = Diet & Poorness Fail.

2009-10-22T08:03:00.000-07:00

Today I spent £11 on food. AND I'm on a "diet".

I can explain I promise.....

I had a free in between my two lessons today, and was with a couple of girls from my tutor; one of which wanted to go to Subway to get a breakfast sub. Well, this made me want one. 99p. I gave the woman my card to pay and she said I had to spend a minimum of £3 to use my card. So I saw a pack of 12 cookies for £3.99 and bought them aswell; much to the amusement of my tutor friends...

THEN I bought some noodles in a box (with tofu and vegetables) from this place in town for £5.99....I've always wanted noodles in a box...and it meant I could use my chopstick skills that David (Trillby) had taught me ;P so I bought that too....I then really wanted some water but couldn't will myself to spend any more money so waited until I got home..and now I have two cups of tea ;P Why two you ask? Because I'm cool ok?

Careers.

2009-10-21T06:03:00.000-07:00

It took me a while to decide what career path I wanted to follow. It was always between the film industry and things to do with medicine and care. I wanted to be a social worker, then a film editor, then a carer for old people, then a director, then an author, then a midwife, then a director/author, then finally a doctor. Even though there's part of me that longs to make a film, I know it's a stupidly hard industry to get into..so I've always just accepted it would be foolish to follow. I've always wanted to do something that would care for people, and the way the body works and everything really interests me. Medicine was perfect. Or so I thought....

Medicine is soooo hard to get into. I was told today that only 9 people from Xaverian were accepted for the medicine course at manchester uni last year. I need to get AAB in my A levels (or BBB if I get accepted by this Manchester Access Programme thing) which INCLUDES maths..which is stupidly hard. It's also the course that requires the most work experience...which I'm finding hard to get. I need to stand out. Before I started college I thought I was pretty clever...I was in the top 10 of the cleverist people in our year at Reddish Vale. But everyone in my classes at Xaverian are so much smarter than me. I can't cope with the fact I'm struggling so much, and it's so hard to get help. I just want to follow the career that all my old teachers told me I'd be able to.

God I can rant...pfft...yh.

I've got a good feeling about this...

2009-10-18T02:14:00.000-07:00

Well. It's safe to say I've never had a proper relationship. Just very short chapters of my life that I don't remember a lot of. I know David had a very long relationship with the whore who must not be named, but I've never had anything like that.

Things are different with David though....I can't imagine him turning out to be gay, thinking he's sooooo much better than me and destroying my self-esteem, completely ignoring me and simply never talking to me again or using me and then fucking off. (examples of previous boyfriends).

But I can imagine him being just amazing. I love everything about him, I trust him 100%. I just got to hope he doesn't wake up and realise he can do better...'cause I love him :)

<3

Today

2009-10-18T02:11:00.000-07:00

I really, really, really, REALLY just want to have one of them days where you do shit all. Unfortunately, that won't happen D:

I'working 11-4 and then I'm going to my Grandma's for tea......and I won't see David all day either D:

CBA TBH ATM.

blehhhhhh

I love you David <3

lol much.

2009-10-17T03:31:00.000-07:00

Enough said.

a crown??? A CROWN?!?!?!

2009-10-14T14:42:00.000-07:00

Well Today I had to go to the dentist for a filling, so I dragged David along xD...he hates dentists lol and I think after today he knows I do too lol. Anyway...they gave me one of them injections to numb my mouth (which felt funny and got a few lols from David lol), and then they took my old filling out to put a new one in..but apparently my tooth was soft underneath it D: so now I have to go back for a crown!!!!! BAD TIMES

But after dentist me, David, Brad, Adam, Phil and Jonny all went to school to say hi to some of our old teachers xD I said a quick grunt of a hello to Mr Chapple lol and left them all to talk to him whilst I had a good ol' natter with Mr Thomas <3 I also saw Lauren and Chloe (Emma's sibling and friend) which was coooool (Y) said hi to Mr Barlow in ICT, saw a lot of Mr Falokun and got a picture with him lololol 'cause I'm cool...saw Bryn rehearsing in drama so tried putting him off in the doorway lolol....yeahhh memories eh? It reminded me that I missed my teachers...but I really really really don't miss the students or the school lol

Fire=Bus Fail=Lateness

2009-10-13T14:54:00.000-07:00

So that tyre factory fire in stockport yesterday fucked up all of todays buses D: Mine was 50 minutes late! Bad times mannnn..though I made friends at the bus stop with a woman who needed to get to work on time today because she was late yesterday, a man who needed to meet his friend who had a hospital appointment at 10:20 and a man who had an important meeting at 10:30. Well...."friends" lol we all just stood ranting about buses tbh...was pretty funny.

Then this fire engine went past without sirens or anything and the hospital guy went "bit late mate". T'was pretty funny lolol. Anyway the woman decided to pull a sicky and go home, the hospital guy rang his mate and told him he'd get there in an hour or so and went home, and the meeting guy also decided to sack it and go home. So then it was just me...

Then a uni student came along and I informed him of the situation...then Hannah rang and said they were finally on the bus so telling that guy was a slight waste of time in the end lolol.

So yeahh...we were an hour late to class...but tbf the bus was pretty quick..we just decided we might aswell go to the shop seen as we were already late; where I bought 2 cheap energy drinks for £1.50 instead of ONE red bull for £1.30

Lateness fail. Although, I still get EMA, 'cause you need 3 lates in a week to not get it...so...win!

ALSO MY NEW PHONE ARRIVED SO WOOP WOOP WOOP WOOP WOOP WOOOP WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOP =D

caio! ;P

The Spoon Hunt

2009-10-12T13:31:00.000-07:00

Tonight was....eventful.

Me and David went to Col's where I hid from paper darts with pins in them and lolled at Mario Paint. We also had tea and watched Evolution (EPIC FILM) anddddd I got given a sloth beanie called Slowpoke and Me and David both gained an aloe vera plant each....

So then me and David began to walk to the chippy with our pot plants....planning to tell people that we were carrying them because the Reddish rapist is allergic to aloe vera, and went to 2 closed chippies before finding one open near posh nosh.

David bought chicken and sweetcorn soup and bought me some prawn crackers...nom nom nom. We sat on a bench (because we're cool) and then David decided he needed a spoon for his soup because it was too hot.

So the spoon hunt began. We walked to Adam's house...and after he refused to give us a spoon we walked to Brad's and he gave David a spoon and sat on the pavement with us for a while...good times

Human will vs. instinct

2009-10-12T02:43:00.000-07:00

Me and mum like to have our deep discussions about things. The other night we discussed human will.....

We hope that if we were ever in a situation where we had to choose between the life of another or our own, we'd sacrifice our self. We hope that our knowledge of right and wrong will power over our survival instinct.

The fact is, we have no idea how we will act in a situation like that, unless we've been in one. You see it in films; people rarely end up doing the right thing. Our mind and our body will do anything to survive, even if it means the loss of the people closest to you. We could regret it for the rest of our lives, but our mind sees this as a better life than no life at all.

But what is the RIGHT thing to do? Our conscience will tell us to think of others not ourselves, our survival instinct will tell us to simply stay alive.

I don't know what you'd do, I don't know what I'd do...but I hope I'd give my own life.

Deep discussions FTW. Well...mother and I think so anyway ;P

bababababaaaa i'm lovin' it

2009-10-11T08:25:00.000-07:00

LIES.

There's nothing worse than coming home from a 5-hour shift at McDonalds, covered in cuts, smelling like burgers, having "greasy hat-hair", having sticky hands and arms from loads of coke and ice-cream, legs aching like hell and being able to feel the chip grease on your skin from standing over fries.

D: I just wanna see David now...so I'm gonna pick up this Nokia 3310 *shudders* and text him.

CAIO!

because we is cool kids yo.

2009-10-09T16:33:00.000-07:00

Oh how I love my David.

Speaking in posh British accents, singing along to the scrubs musical and the theme tune to the fresh prince of belair...oh and the biscuit rap from two pints, attempting to watch films and failing e.g. Wall-E and Armageddon, having "in" jokes about biscuit placements ("Do you think that anyone in the world is doing this exact same thing right now?" no.), chillin' in "club houses" listening to music from our tinny phones, saying "lies" a lot, having poke wars, coming up with conspiracy theories about people stealing glasses, wanting to take my evil hamster to MSN, Facebook AND Blogspot HQ, texting him in the morning telling him i'm leaving so that we can walk half way down the road together...the list could go on....and why do we do all this you ask? "BECAUSE WE IS COOL KIDS YO!"

Number 42.

2009-10-08T13:43:00.000-07:00

My phone was stolen today.

I was not impressed.

Pinched out of my pocket as I got off the 42. Cheeky little twats.

I rang it as soon as I got home...and it was off...which suggests someone had took my sim out and put there's in.

It also meant I had to ring and cancel my phone so they couldn't use it, get a new sim sent to me, then mum had to check it was insured on the home insurance, and get all that sorted so they'll send me a new phone...then we had to go to the police station to report it.

EFFORT. I want my phone back, I want my music, my pictures, my contacts, the texts I'd saved!

Also means I have to tell my work my number's changed...and anywhere else it's written. GODDDDDDDDDDDD and it's costing £50 to get the phone! Stupid theiveing twats on the 42.PFFT.

My Routine.

2009-10-08T13:08:00.001-07:00

David's last post gave me an idea lol; this is my routine:

6:15 *annoying alarm goes off* I go back to sleep
6:20 *second annoying alarm goes off*
6:25 I blackmail myself into getting up e.g. you're not allowed to breath/text David back until you get out of bed
6:30 I get dressed, do hair and make-up
7:00 mum and dad's alarm goes off..which reminds me to hurry up.
7:20 I go downstairs, take my tablets, get some shreddies
7:25 I sort my bag out
7:30 I brew for mum and dad for when they come down, then listen to music on my phone
7:40 I plug my earphones in, text David to let him know I'm leaving so we can walk down the road together, and leave
7:42 I wait at the bus stop for David (different David) to ring me to tell me him and Hannah are on the bus
7:50 I get on the bus...
....
4:00 finish college and get the bus home
5:something I get home and go see David xD or he comes and sees me xD either way...s'all good!

so yeah...be amazed.

<3 David

This morning.

2009-10-07T05:41:00.000-07:00

I was in bed about 10 minutes after my 6:30 alarm went off this morning, and i was trying to think of reasons to why i shouldn't get out of bed...so I went on blogspot...checked David's because he said he would do one last night and he didn't lol, caught up on Ridler's blogs and then went to write one on my own about being in bed and really really really not wanting to get up.

However....i TRIED to write it but it said I wasn't writing and then when I went to see what I'd wrote I had "II'MiGm" and it wouldn't let me delete it...so I gave up and told myself I wasn't allowed to text David back until I was out of bed...so I got up. Yay for blackmailing myself. xD

Anyway...you may have noticed I'm using capital letters for once; it's David's fault. I'm a bit OCD about my grammar but capital letters never bothered me...until David's perfect grammar made me hate my own hahaha so yeah...that's why I have capital letters now ;P...oh and apparently I love elipses'...sounds about right.

The past few days

2009-10-06T12:30:00.000-07:00

so i haven't blogged the last few days because i've been chillin' in my "club house" (AKA my caravan) with David...good times xD

we don't actually do ANYTHING. but it's cool (Y) lolol we go on my laptop until it dies (like we are right now) and then listen to music off my phone and talk. yesterday fogal rang..that was pretty much hillarious ahahaha all you need to know is i'm back from devon.

but what was funny yesterday was at some point of us sat in this "club house" practically made of paper we failed to hear the house opposite get broken into and their car get stolen ahahahaha pretty funny tbh. well probably not for them....but still aahha they'll get over it ;P

but anyway yh we are going back to chilling now because we're cool kids yo! (Y)

clouds are marching along, singing their song just like they do.......(music on my phone ftw)

caio!! xD

Fail.

2009-10-06T12:23:00.000-07:00

got into maths and my mate Samia goes..."so how much revision have you done?" i go "...revsion?....oh shit yh." she laughs. she says "you're an idiot hahaha" "i've failed college already mannnn"

so yh....chemisty test last lesson :S i thought..right. can't be THAT bad..did the first page ok.....and then i was just like WTFFFFFFFF at some of the questions and i was tapping my page with my pen trying to casually look at the guy infront of me's paper...he got 10 A*s at GCSE so he must have got them right i thought...anyway...turns out he was on the last question and i was about half way through :S

so people started leaving one by one because they'd finished...then Samia left....then there was about 5 of us left.....2 people at the front got up and i still had 4 questions and i was like OMG SHIT and then i had 10 minutes left to finish,......so i guessed the answers just so i wasn't the last to leave lol.

anyway yh...didn't go as well as my biology test but oh well, i might have got 60% you never know.

TEVS. ;P

OMFG.

2009-10-03T17:56:00.001-07:00

Zomggggles!!!!! <<<<< How frickinnnn epic is that word?????

My Caravan.

2009-10-03T17:23:00.000-07:00

David's jingle...

It's hip. It's real. It's a room on wheels. It's Amy's Club House!

yeh boiii!

OH TEH NOES!

2009-10-03T16:30:00.000-07:00

sudden realisation of it being half past midnight. :

if this was back in the summer holidays i'd be thinking "yhhh i'll stay up for another 3 hours tonight..maybe play some nazi zombies when i get up tomorrow"

but it isn't...

and so now it means...

oh i best go bed soon....which means i'll have to stop speaking to david....and have to go to work tomorrow....and will just have to hope that it will be better than friday's shift.............and i won't be able to speak to david because he has no credit D:

all i have to look forward to is going on facebook chat to David in my break....sigh sigh sigh :(

that sounded like it wasn't much to look forward to...but it is lololol just i'd prefer to be at home seeing him in person xD

love you so much David. <3

Not Gay.

2009-10-03T15:19:00.001-07:00

would like to point out to david that it was cute NOT gay :) <3

first kiss....

2009-10-03T15:03:00.000-07:00

:) had our first kiss tonight <3 xxxxxx

PHEW.

2009-10-03T14:48:00.000-07:00

i thought David wouldn't be able to come on msn after being murdered by his mother for getting in about 5 minutes late lol, he got shouted at but at least he's online xD sorryyyyyy daviddd my fault for not letting you go lol

good night though :) really good :) me and david chilled in the caravan..was good times (Y) love it when you can lie with someone just talking about shit all for hours lolol

he stayed for tea...and dad even gave him THE TOUR. oh yes...the tour of his garage....if he gives you THE TOUR he likes you hahahaha

and he said after david went "he seems nice david he sounds like a good laugh" so...win! :)

Love you David <3

oh noes

2009-10-03T06:45:00.001-07:00

my laptop is going to dieeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

*repeated by david in scarier voice*

Drive Thru

2009-10-02T16:06:00.000-07:00

lol! i just remembered....when i was on drive thru i got chatted up

me: would you like any sauces or anything?
guy: ermmm yh please can i have a curry sauce, a sweet n sour, a couple of straws and your number please?
me: haha sorry but naa mate
guy: what you trying to say?
me: i'm saying you can't order that
guy: you got a boyfriend?
me: yupppp (pride inside)
guy: aww shame shame, so are you new amy? (obv looked at my name badge)
me: yhh
guy: how old are you?
me: 17
guy: where you from?
me: reddish
guy: did you go reddish vale?
me: i did
guy: ahh right so were you with like amy stringer and that?
me: she was the year above me
guy: oh right well you're proper young then aren't you? soz like, thanks for the chips
me: hahaha it's alright mate
*drives off..i chuckle to myself*

what a fool! as if he even compares to my david!! <3 <3

UGHH.

2009-10-02T13:31:00.000-07:00

i could tell this day was going to be a bad one from the way college was going; i felt like i just had one long free. 'cause i had a free on my own...then biology for 20 minutes....then the rest of that lesson and dinner free...and i got out of last lesson early...it was well gimpish. and i really really couldn't be arsed.

work...UGH. none of the people i'd really made friends with were on their shift so it was just the ones who i sort of know. they were talking about me as if i wasn't there:

sal: no she can't present she's been told she can't
waj: she needs to learn though
sal: yh but she's too quite she can't, when she gets better and gets used to it then she can

etc etc etc ...i was stood right next to them! they talked about me like that at least 3 times UGH hoe bags. i wouldn't mind, but i had reasons to be quiet tonight:

1. i was stupidly tired
2.i didn't know any of them really
3. i haven't spoken to david all day
4. i found out emma's grandpa died this morning, and couldn't go round to comfort her and her family.

and there's NO-ONE to talk to on msn either. just feel really shit tbh :/

grrrrr facebook

2009-10-01T14:03:00.001-07:00

facebook never lets me on david's profile.....cry cry.

Credit Fails Part 2

2009-10-01T10:53:00.000-07:00

i just realised i called my last blog "Credit Fails" and didn't actually talk about why credit fails. credit fails because in 2 days david has spent £10 lol which means on average i would spend about £120 a week on credit D: .....it also means he won't be able to text me 'till he gets credit now :(

and that's why credit fails.

Credit Fails

2009-10-01T10:27:00.000-07:00

i've had a good day today :) even though i fell asleep on the bus for a few seconds on the way there haha and in media :S oh well no one seemed to notice lol

so i had mass today..which ran into my free lol it was alright actually, it just dragged a bit and the cracker thing for communion dried my mouth out and they didnt even give us the wine after D: the speaker guy downed it all. parched much.

so then i went and got pizza for £1 from Zain's Krispy Chicken and it's well nice NOM NOM NOM NOM i'm getting that again.

i then lolled at hannah and david getting off the bus at the wrong stop...and then running up to the next stop hahahaa watching hannah out of the window trying to keep up with the bus was funnyyyyy.

i think the best parts of today was texting david though tbh. he made a guy throw up. ahahaha epic. and i got to talk to my new friend emma about him xD hehe she said i sounded proud of him...which i am ;P

but yeah. epic day really. gonna go to ridlers for 15 mins before guitar to say happy birthday to her sister...go guitar...come back...and speak to my lovely boyfriend :) <3

good times <3

2009-09-30T13:32:00.000-07:00

So, i started late and finished early today xD with only 2 lessons...win. which meant i could go to davids..as he finished early too xD we watched armageddon..which i'm sure is an epic film seen as i cried at one of the only scenes we watched lol!

and i have officially been glomped!!!! omg!!!!! ;P i is no longer a glomp virgin as they say. idk who they are but they say it i promise.

we also watched the scrubs musical...because everything comes down to poo (8) epic episode.

we had good times xD, we chilled, we watched amazing things, listened to good music, had a good brew, i found out his brother doesn't like green day and was shocked to my core, i met his mum (who reckons i'm nice apparently yayyy)

and then had to go for tea :( where i had scrambled eggs on waffle..don't ask lol. but yh..i see msn flashing and want to go back to chatting to my david now soooo i'm finishing this now xD

i love you david. <3

<3

2009-09-29T14:28:00.000-07:00

so I'm going out with the guy who tried to stab me when we first met....bahaha

but to be fair i was being rather irritating so stabbing a fork through my hand in a london restaurant would have been rather called for.

You see at that point in my life i thought i was more likely to be murdered by him than ever go out with him..funny how things change ;P

Today he made me smile and nearly "aww" out loud on the bus home from college :) that text is being saved forever xD

I even managed to give his ex some evil looks today too ;P

so yeahh...you ask me what love is..i say; love is feeling wanted, love is longing to be next to someone, love is smiling at a sweet text, love is Dream A, love is David <3

cheesy but oh well xD

happiness.

2009-09-28T12:21:00.001-07:00

happiness ftw <3

girly gossip.

2009-09-28T10:57:00.000-07:00

me and 2 girls from my tutor were talking today and gossiping, asking each other personal questions. it was quite good..all though...they were talking about their long-term boyfriends and all the sex they have...and when they asked me about sex all i had was that one horrible night i barely even remember and makes me sick to think about....

then they asked the question: what was your longest relationship..."oh great!" i thought . well they had a mixture of pity and laughter in their eyes when i told them "well it was 4 and a half months in year 8...and he turned out to be gay."

something told me it wouldn't be right to tell them that every guy i've fallen for has used me and left me before we had chance to have anything real. something told me their amazing lives with their amazing long-term boyfriends didn't want to hear that i've only had sex once and that i don't even remember it.

i didn't want to tell them that i'm stupidly insecure about myself because i've been so easily manipulated in the past. i didn't want to tell these stupidly attractive girls that my self-esteem has never improved since the days of year 7, when i was bullied so severely that i was a complete emo that slit my wrists and planned my own suicides and would be dead by now if my dad hadn't walked in at the right moment.

something about their perfect lives reminded me how pathetically sad mine seems...but i don't care tbh...i've spent enough time depressed. there are many people out there who have it a lot worse than me, so s'all good :)

david

2009-09-28T10:53:00.000-07:00

This post is just to make david feel special xD

my maths teacher makes me hate life.

2009-09-28T10:40:00.000-07:00

1. he doesn't explain HOW to work things out he just gives you questions
2. he changes the actual answers to make them "look pretty" by rearranging them so you don't know if you got it right.

here's a quote from today which i showed my friend on msn before:

sir: yes so we're moving off from indices and surds now
me: but we've not finished
sir: yes we have we've done it all
me: well we obviously haven't because there is no way we learned half the stuff that was on our homework
sir: we did it all last lesson
me: no...we didn't.
sir: show me what we didn't do then
*shows*
sir: you can figure that out
me: i can't if you haven't told me how to can i?
sir: you know the basics
me: urghhh well that's not going to get me far if i've never tried these questions before
sir: you can do it
me: urghhh you're being stupid
sir: what's stupid
me: OMG nothing
sir: it's not stupid..keep your hair on..it's fine
*shoots evil looks*

click

2009-09-25T14:15:00.000-07:00

adam sandler films OWN. it's simple as! ....e.g...click.

before i saw click..i think i went on about WANTING to see it for about 2 years...and when i saw it i was like OMG THAT WAS AMAZING I MUST WATCH IT AGAIN! i've never ever cried so much at a film before..and it gets me just as bad everytime. i watched it with mum and dad today as my adam sandler film trilogy arrived today..and they loved it too <3 i knew they would :')

if you haven't seen it...go see it.
and if you've seen it...then you know you love it <3 <3 <3 <3

bloated (N)

2009-09-24T14:27:00.000-07:00

comfort eating FTL.

gay pride....

2009-09-24T14:00:00.000-07:00

we were at college, and me and hannah decided it would be funny to hold hands as we walked accross the field to see how many funny looks we got...lol

anyway..all was going well until we noticed the photography class...about 15 of them....ALL taking pictures of us!!!

we expect to see a gay pride display put up in art very soon..bad times...bad times.

zxhkchn\bjh.

2009-09-23T09:41:00.000-07:00

i'm having one of those "meh/grr/ahfkhshfbskjfhsejufhkfgsjfg1!!!!!!!!" moments so cba blogging lol and can't really think of anything...i'll blog later :)

my dream last night.

2009-09-22T14:51:00.001-07:00

lol my dream last night made me lol when i woke up.

i wasn't allowed to have any fish in my room and i had 3 magikarps in a bowl...so i took them out and put them in a line on a shelf in a cupboard and told them to hold their breath so they did. my dad came in and was checking my cupboards and saw some slices of cod i had..which he found ok and didn't seem to notice that the magikarp were alive. so when he went i gave them a drink of water and put them back in the bowl.....i was actually shitting myself thinking my dad would find my fish hahaha

lesson learned: dreams like that are strangeee

What a loooooooong Mc'in day!!

2009-09-21T14:14:00.000-07:00

up at 6:15. college 9-4 with no frees D: enough said there lol.

work...i was hating it at first..i didn't know anyone because it was an evening shift not a weekend one so all the people were different, and i was tired from college.

buuuuuuuuuuuut it got better xD it wasn't very busy at times so i had a good chat and a laugh with people and got nicknamed "brainbox" off one of the guys in the kitchen because of what i'm doing at college lololol but my feet and back KILL from mopping mopping and generally more mopping..even the toilets : lol was alright though (Y) had another veggi deluxe meal for my break ;P i'm gonna have to start taking in food though i think because i'm not eating that fatty crap all the time D:

so yh i got told to make a blog even though i'm SHATTERED and want to go into hybernation right about now lolol

i can't think of anything else to blabber on about so..this is me excited:

OMFG I'M GOING SEEING GREEN DAY THANKS TO MY SICKKK MATE ;P SHIT YEAHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

my 2nd day at work

2009-09-20T10:09:00.000-07:00

LOL! there was this customer today and i think weird is a serious understatement

weird guy: hmmm i think i'll have a coffee...do you do tea?
me: yes we do
weird guy: wow..really? wow...i'll have tea please. can i have 2 teabags..because it's quite weak isn't it?
me: yhh ok (why not?)
weird guy: wow...you'll put a spanner in the works just for me? wow thankyou really
me: it's ok...
*gives tea*
*weird guy counts tea bags*
weird guy: two ..yes!

weird guy walks off and stands messing with his tea bags for 5 minutes..he turns around and says to no one in particular: sorry!

about an hour later he came back...with no top on.

weird guy: can i purchase some coke? do i have to put my shirt on?
me: ermm..no it's fine
weird guy: oh good. because they made me put it back on on the bus. the bus driver told me to put it on
me: oh it's ok
weird guy: has anyone ever told you that you look like that girl who works at mcdonalds?
*i chuckle*
weird guy: no but you look like you know jodie marsh has anyone ever told you that?
me: no...they haven't...
weird guy: yh with the big eyes and wide smile y'know?
*passes coke*
me: that's 99p please
*weird guy folds arms so that the hand with the pound in is practically in his armpit*
:
me: that's 99p please
weird guy: ohh
*passes me moist pound coin*
me: thankyou..here's your change
weird guy: wow thankyou

D: hahaha

SLOTHS

2009-09-19T16:14:00.000-07:00

so yh...my sloth blog

this is why sloths OWN. and why i'm going to own one one day....

when you blowdry their face to dry their fur..they really like it and get really relaxed and fall asleep, so you have to make sure you support their back so they don't fall over.
in the wild, the baby ones sometimes aren't strong enough to hold on to the branches of the trees and they fall off.
they get lonely, so when you're walking around the house they like to cling on to you and hug you.
they sleep in hammocks.
they're epically cute.
there's a wild breed of sloth nicknamed the flat-road sloth...basically it goes into the middle of the road and lies down flat and spreads itself out...i'm sure they'll be extinct soon.
because of these videos:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pqio2G_Ra6g

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EN1Ws0JSd2U

love like

2009-09-19T15:05:00.000-07:00

I've been told i don't blog enough ...but all my deep thoughts that are worth blogging would make me sound like i have serious emo issues lol..but tbh i'm generally a happy person :) but now i've thought of something to blog about so yay xD

love is like the hardest emotion to know you're feeling when you're feeling it. is there a such thing as love at first sight? i'm not sure..because i think it takes a long time of knowing someone to love them...or is it different with everyone?

also sometimes..you don't realise you love someone until they're not a part of your life anymore. they go and you're like..... (U) - that's a broken heart btw if you don't understand msn emote references.

jeez okay this still ended up sounding emo D: my next blog will be about sloths! OH YES! sloth win.....

self-esteem fail.

2009-09-18T15:53:00.000-07:00

I'm single ..(shocker)..and one of the things i miss about having a boyfriend is having a decent self-esteem. You can't help but get down when there's no one but your mum to tell you you're pretty. I really don't want this blog to sound emo lol...but yeah...I miss the compliments and feeling you can trust someone with all your flaws...i miss the feeling of knowing someone finds you attractive...

I'm not some sort of emo btw...just to reassure you ;P but everyone gets down.

Sorority Row

2009-09-17T10:23:00.000-07:00

Sorority Row ...isn't all that good tbh. it's scary in parts...and gruesome in parts...and kind of funny in parts...but that's all you can really get out of it...the plot FAILS at being even remotely plausable...and the characters were no where near freaked out enough about the whole situation...plus the ending is just completely unlikely and would never happen (they would never have got away with killing all those people)

so yeah...if you want to see people being stabbed with "tyre irons", as they call them in america, then go see it..if you want something that makes sense...go see something better like adventureland or something..i've not seen it but it looks EPIC.

2009-09-17T10:14:00.000-07:00

I wasn't looking forward to my free period at college today...as it says in my last post xD but it was good! it was just after tutor and as all my tutor turned out to have the same free, i made lots of new friends xD me and 3 girls from my tutor hung around for a bit in the cafeteria and then went to the library for a bit to do homework etc ...yes..the library...it sounds really geeky but it saves doing it at home!

Anyway then we went and met some more of like their friends and sat on the grass for a bit...learnt each others names and that and had a laugh...then all the girls were talking about their boyfriends and emma went to me "do you have a boyfriend?" and i was like...ermm..no...lol. i felt kinda left out ;P but you never know, xaverian's full of people...there must be someone out there who wants the slothmeister! lmao!

i kind of lost the point of this blog...oh yh ...new friends xD who are adding me on facebook...yay.

that's about all i gots to say xD

sleep D:

2009-09-16T15:47:00.000-07:00

wow it gets to a certain point where you're like so tired..that you cba moving to go to bed...and that's pretty bad..

i have to be up at half 6 tomorrow morning for college and even though it's midnight and i KNOW i should be in bed...i still find myself sat on my laptop listening to peter andre-unconditional and thinking about that free period i've got on my own tomorrow :(

ooh the song's finishing lol so i'm gonna time this so i go at the same time ;P SKILLS.

nighty night xD

cba tbh atm...

2009-09-16T07:50:00.000-07:00

Ever in that situation where you will find ANYTHING..and i mean ANYTHING (well not..ANYthing :S ) to avoid doing homework? i mean...i NEED to do it...and i can't do it later 'cause I'm going out....so really this is the best time for me to do it....

I'm kind of glancing at my college bag every now and then thinking right best do it now...then i think..ooh look, someone on facebook is "chillin wid ma mum eatin pizza GUD TYMS"..."like".

So..as you can see...i found this and thought...wow...a blog.....that sounds more interesting than the mass spectometre and isotopes...yes i know...chemistry D:

Naa chemistry sounds hard...but it's interesting...but that might just be because I'm sad? probably. oh well...i HAVE to be interested in it because i HAVE to get an A in it if i want to do medicane at uni...so atomic structure it is...in a bitchhhhh xD