Heartbreak

Love is hard - James Morrison

It kicks so hard it breaks your bones
Cuts so deep it hits your soul
Tears your skins and makes your blood flow
It's better that you know
That love is hard.

That's the best way I can think of to describe how it feels to have your heart crushed. It's like your dying but never die.

I was used to it tbh, as used to it as you can be. It's horrible. It's scary people can have that much power over you. But I'd come to expect it anyway.

It was like...I'd love someone...and I'd think I knew them....then they'd do something so unnexpected and horrible and it hurt so much. I didn't understand.

That's why it was hard for me at first with David...it got to about a month in and it was if I was waiting...just waiting for him to turn into a twat...for him to do something to crush me...and now it's been 4 and a half months, the same length as my longest relationship to date...and nothing. In fact, he's just got better.

I love him so much. So much that it brings me to tears when I think about it a lot...I cried a few times on Valentine's day...nearly cried more times than that.

I'm not expecting him to do something horrible now, I'm hoping that nothing ever happens that will drive us away. Because as time goes on I love him more and more and I don't want anyone else.

When I think of my future, he's in it, when I think of my dream life, he's in it. It's not an obsession. It's love. The thing is, I can't imagine me being happy without him. Sometime's I have these horrible daydreams that something's happened to him, and it gives me the worst feeling...

It's easy to use words like forever and always. But they are big words. That's why you've got to hold on to them, and know what you're saying and feel it every time you say them.

I love David Cooper. I want to be with him forever. It's that simple.